Musings from an Information Science PhD Candidate

Work/Life Balance for Ph.D. Students

2010-11-01T20:17:00.002-04:00

While commonly prescribed strategies of “work/life” balance can sometimes be helpful for PhD students in academia, I think we are unique in that research can often be a solitary, isolating endeavor, especially in the context of working on a dissertation. This is an immensely lonely activity that can haunt you when you are trying to “live” (by which I mean “not work”). As an academic, you know that there is almost ALWAYS time that you could be working. At nearly any time in your day, you know that you COULD be working on your dissertation, your assistantship, preparing for a lecture, reviewing papers, writing a conference proposal, etc. So even if you make time for “life” activities, you may not enjoy them to their fullest. There may remain that nagging feeling of “hey, I should be doing something productive” right about now. Instead of sitting down and watching a movie with your partner or friends, and feeling a sense of satisfaction afterward, you may suffer relentless guilt that you just wasted two hours of productive time.

Assuming the brain to be the primary human muscle in academic progress, I am a firm believer in the overused metaphor of it as an exercise muscle. In order for it to get stronger, it too has to rest from being “exercised”. Yet, there is clearly more to maintaining a work/life balance than “mind rest”. To continue this metaphor, for any athlete to improve her game, she probably engages in a number of exercises that target muscles beyond simply those that she uses for her primary sport. She also probably engages in behaviors that improve her game when she is not exercising, focused around her diet and other lifestyle choices. Certainly, there are stark differences between athletics and academics that make this an imperfect metaphor. Still, it is useful to note that the physical body cannot grow stronger if it does not have time to repair and heal itself after strain. An athlete simply cannot ALWAYS be exercising, and an academic simply cannot ALWAYS be engaged in academic-related activities. I believe we can benefit greatly from making time for non-academic activities so that we can refresh and repair our insights. More plainly, rest from working helps us to clear our minds and to see things with fresher, brighter eyes. However, just as the athlete is always mindful that her lifestyle choices need to be congruent with her exercise routine, so must the academic!

As exercise puts certain physical stresses on the body, there are certain affective stresses that individuals endure as a result of academia. This is not to say that academia has a monopoly on the affective stresses of work, but that academics, in general, are faced with a number of specific stresses that they cannot simply “leave behind” in the office. That nagging feeling of unproductivity when watching a movie may well be justified if all you are doing is watching movies or playing Facebook games all day. In such cases, guilt may be a good thing in the form of that invisible conscience on your shoulder reminding you of your responsibilities. But when you are living the lifestyle of an academic, it is important to fit in recreational activities, and it is simply not fair to let guilt be an additional stressor to weigh on your mind. Swinging too far in the direction of either “work” or “life” likely means that you are not doing a good job at maintaining the other.

In looking for advice on balancing out the two, I have found helpful information on a number of sites such as WebMD and the Mayo Clinic. However, much of this seems to be geared toward non-academic, more “traditional” business-oriented careers. For example, a number of articles suggested, “sharing the load” with co-workers, or delegating tasks to subordinates. While in some cases these nuggets of advice may be possible for academics to follow, a PhD student working on his dissertation probably cannot share the load, or delegate his literature review to an undergrad. Thus, in coming up with a list of useful tips for “work/life” balance, I tried to stick to those that I found most relevant to struggling graduate students! The following are drawn from a few different sources, to which I provide links following this post.

Tips on maintaining a “work/life” balance for Ph.D. students:

· Learn to Say “No”: This is one that a number of people have told me over the years, and it is found in a number of articles on “work/life” balance. From personal experience, I have seen how saying “yes” to too many things can create unnecessary pressures and expectations. This is not to say that we should do the bare minimum and not push ourselves. This is, however, meant to signify that we should recognize that we have reasonable limits of productivity and responsibility to ourselves, and should thus respect them.

· Prioritize: This may seem fairly obvious, but it is another tip that pops up again and again. Some recommend making an ordered list of your top priorities. This way you can recognize what is important, and begin to weed out that which is not. One particular piece of advice that I saw recommended, is that each priority should get your full attention when it is attended to. While this isn’t always realistic in practice, I think that is probably wise “in sprit”.

· Organize and Stick to a Schedule: I suppose this may be of particular relevance for academics. There are times in your career when you are not required to stick to any daily/weekly regular schedule. For example, as I work on my dissertation proposal, there are not hard and fast deadlines like there are during coursework. Therefore, it is far too easy to procrastinate and put stuff off until it gets too overwhelming to ignore any further. Integrating routine and organizing your own deadlines is an ideal way to keep from falling into a scholarly black hole. I concede that this is far easier said than done, but like they say when it comes to quitting drug or alcohol addiction, keep trying until you succeed.

· Have a Support System: This can be particularly hard to find especially within academia itself. Your fellow students likely have just as much on their plate as you do, and your family and friends outside of school may not understand the specific pressures and issues you face in academia. However, it is important not to let the isolation of academia overwhelm (I am speaking in particular of dissertation writing, and other solitary PhD student activities). Start a writing group with your colleagues, or propose a weekly happy hour. Make time to go see a movie with friends. It is important to maintain one of the basic fundamental human needs for sanity: being social.

· Have Fun: In fact, it is important to make time for it, and to leave guilt in the office or lab. Allow yourself to engage in activities you enjoy, mindful of, but not guilty about, your academic responsibilities. In other words, do it, and make sure you do it, but don’t overdo it. Just don’t underdo it either. I suppose that not overdoing or underdoing fun is a matter of its own balance, and will come with different guidelines for different individuals. But one thing is clear: you have made it this far, so you deserve to have SOME fun!

Sources:

http://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/5-strategies-for-life-balance?page=2

http://www.cio.com/article/114051/Five_Sensible_Tips_for_Achieving_Work_Life_Balance?page=3&taxonomyId=3123

http://www.microsoft.com/business/en-us/resources/management/leadership-training/need-work-life-balance-7-tips.aspx#Needworklifebalancetips

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/work-life-balance/WL00056/NSECTIONGROUP=2

A Technology Fanaticism Model?

2010-06-25T22:18:00.000-04:00

Those of us in the Information Science/Information Systems disciplines are intimately familiar with TAM, or, the Technology Acceptance Model. At its most basic level, this is the idea that adoption of IT is predicated on perceived usefulness, and perceived ease of use. For example, I choose to adopt Photoshop as my software of choice for photo-editing based on perceiving it as a very helpful tool for particular (or potential) tasks, and on the simplicity of its interface. If I see it as more useful, and easier to use than a competitor's tool (such as, let's say, PaintShop Pro), I thus adopt Photoshop. At its core, TAM operates under the assumption that humans are rational creatures.

In the 20ish year since its inception, there have been numerous additions, expansions, and variants of the model. Some, accounting for less rational factors, such as hedonic perceptions; others considering context such as for personal use or as a job requirement; while still others consider facets such as demographics, social pressures, and experience. But when I look at the news over the last few weeks, and see the extremes to which some people have gone to acquire their new iPhone 4s (myself being an eager adopter), existing TAM studies immediately feel irrelevant in explaining individuals' behaviors.

The iPhone 4 takes the idea of Technology Acceptance to the level of Technology Fanaticism. We've seen images of people standing in long, long lines, some camped out for days, awaiting their new iPhones. There are minute-by-minute blogs and Twitter postings documenting experiences of buying a phone (from getting in line to unpacking the box at home) which read like the play-by-play of an intense football game. It would be unfair to single these people out as the only fanatics of technology. It has happened before with other Apple products (such as the poorly-named iPad), and even non-Apple products; especially game systems! I remember the PS2 launch being a (somewhat) comparably big deal in 2000!

Yet, is this any different than the holiday brawls which erupted in the 80s over Cabbage Patch Kid Dolls, or in the 90s over Tickle-Me-Elmos? Is it different than when hoards of fans turned out for the new Harry Potter books dressed in costume? Or when Star Wars fans waited for tickets to Episodes 1-3 in their costumes? Is the insanity expressed over the iPhone 4 terribly unlike the enthusiasm of fans who camp out to get tickets for popular concert events? Is it any more or less extreme than those who follow around the Grateful Dead? Hell, what about Beatle Mania several decades ago? In all of these instances, what one might call fanaticism, another might say you have to experience to understand.

I think that in general, people are rational when adopting new IT, and behave in ways that demonstrate the explanatory power TAM and its variants. Yet, I also believe that there is something buried deep within the human psyche that causes endorphin flow when we satiate our need for "cool things". This might be stronger in some people than others, and "cool things" might be defined as very different entities by different people. I am sure this has been studied and researched in Psychology, and I am sure that the entities on which we focus our fanaticism may say a lot about who we are, our society, our values, and so on. Why some people go to extreme lengths to satiate this need probably says a lot about their personalities, backgrounds, and perceptions. I could sit back, try to delve into my own psyche, and consider the things I get fanatical about; or I could look up research on fanaticism. I could, but I think it is enough to recognize my fanaticism when it occurs, and to enjoy it for what it is, so long as it doesn't take away from the truly important things in my life which transcend materiality and superficial experience.

Ironically, I started this post on 6/24 and didn't finish until more than 24 hours later. The reason: I got my new iPhone 4 of course! But hey, at least it gave me something to write about....

Political Correctness vs. THE ZOMBIES!!!!!

2010-04-13T19:26:00.001-04:00

The phenomenon of zombies in pop culture is hardly new; just look back to the classic B movie Night of the Living Dead in the 1960's, or Michael Jackson's "Thriller" in the 1980's. While I am in my early 30's, I remember as an adolescent that zombies were not any more popular than say, ghosts, in terms of Halloween costumes or horror movie antagonists. They were not particularly popular, but they were not entirely unpopular either. Recently, however, I feel as if zombies are EVERYWHERE, with more movies being made than ever before, and countless video games including them as the main baddies! Even classical novels are being rewritten with a zombie twist (see for example, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies). Hell, I was even witness to a zombie parade this Halloween! Additionally, this past summer, I participated in some research where middle/high school students had to create Flash-based video games, and Zombies ranked among some of the most popular references either in their games, or their ideas for games. So, this begs the question: why are they so popular now?

While walking across the quad at school today, I was witness to a rather large and spread out crowd of undergrads sporting different color bandannas, and carrying Nerf guns. I crossed paths with a few, but didn't really pay any attention to their hi-jinx until I over heard one saying "no, you're on the Zombie team, we're on the Human team!" Instantly, it made sense! So much of our cultural entertainment endeavors (from play, to movies, to books, etc) have been built around having a human enemy, that, in an age of political correctness, zombies are the only politically correct group left to vilify! As a kid, I would hear "old" people recounting tales of playing "Cowboys and Indians". As a kid in the 80's, my friends and I would routinely decide who was to act as the treacherous Russians on the school playground, and who would be the Americans. And yet today, I live in a world where I would be horrified if I encountered children playing "U.S. Marines and Muslim Extremists," despite that it would follow this long tradition of extending current vilification trends into recreation and entertainment.

Granted, zombies are not the only non-human, yet, humanoid figures capable of fulfilling a role of vilification, as one could consider aliens, cyborgs, monsters, and so on. Without a doubt, obsession with vampires is also at an all-time high, though we seem to love them more as protagonists! I think there are probably attributes of zombies that are simultaneously horrific and exciting, which naturally make them good enemies. Couple this with some well-received films with high box office grosses, and you have a phenomenon that penetrates various forms of both passive and active entertainment!

I think seeing people playing "Zombies and Humans" shows evidence that, by and large, nearly 20 years after I first heard the term "politically correct," we are FINALLY beginning to recognize that it is inherently wrong to vilify ethnicity, religion, race, or gender! Instead, we are turning to zombies! While I cautiously stand aside from making grand value judgments on political correctness and its cultural ramifications, I believe there is clear, everyday evidence that teaching, maintaining, and insisting on political correctness is having some inherently beneficial impacts on our society. This is not to say that violence or aggression toward anything that resembles a human is good or positive, but for now, I'll take college students shooting Nerf guns at zombies over kids firing off cap guns at cultural stereotypes any day!

Finally, rather than start with a disclaimer, I will conclude with one, as I figure this is probably the best spot to save discourse for those who do not care about such academics. My views are clearly based entirely on anecdotal observations, and I am sure that real historical and cultural research might uncover phenomenon entirely different or even contrary. Similarly, it is important to note that I am writing from a middle-class, American-born perspective, as everything above might have vastly different interpretations and meanings through different socioeconomic lenses. Additionally, no zombies were harmed during the conception, writing, or publishing of this blog post.

Speculations on Mobile Technology and Influences on Social Etiquette

2010-02-23T15:54:00.003-05:00

If it hasn't already been asked, I think a great research question would be: "in what ways have mobile communication technologies influenced face-to-face social etiquette?"

About 5 or 6 years ago, as the ubiquity of text messaging was beginning to encroach upon our standard modes of modern communication, my social circle was among the early adopters. At work, at the bar, or any other place of gathering, it was not unusual for any of us to be texting during conversations. Certainly, there were some implicit social rules that accompanied this, differing somewhat per individual. For example, when I used to live with my cousin, it would not be unusual for either of us to be sending and receiving text messages while we had a casual conversation going between us. Yet, I had a friend in my Masters program who found it rather rude if I texted while out for our weekly, group, post-class Applebees drink sessions. She would tease me rather than reprimand me, but the message was still clear: she found it rude. Yet, I am not sure our other friend in the group did.

The debate as to the acceptability of maintaining a textual conversation during face-to-face ones is best left to be decided between those individuals engaging in them. I have come to try to avoid doing both at the same time, though at least once in the last year a friend called me out for texting while I was talking to him and his other friend in the same room.

Of course, there is also the question of whether or not it is inconsiderate to maintain multiple conversations across media. Certainly, I can think back on times when I was composing email, while responding to instant messages, and, at the same time, conversing via text messages. Likely, I wasn't doing any one of those things well, but rather a half-assed job at multiple tasks.

With the wall of invisibility between these modes of communication, the only clue to my virtual conversational partners that I was multitasking was probably the gap in time between responses, and a higher-than-usual occurrence of typos. Yet, as a 33 year-old, I was not born among these modes of communication. Rather, they came to me after I had been socialized into my culture and conversational etiquette had been learned. Thus, I think among folks my age, there is a (somewhat) subconscious mandate to ensure that the interlocutor at the other end of a conversation feels at the center of attention. Taking turns is important, and simultaneous texting while talking may or may not be preceived as a thread to that attention, so long as the attention is maintained at an acceptable level.

But what about those who have grown up and developed their social patterns engulfed in ubiquitous mobile and textual communication technologies? Recently, my roommate has begun dating a girl who is 12 years younger than me. On a regular basis, I can be having a face-to-face conversation with him, or even be playing a video game with him, and she will begin her own conversation with him at the same time. While it first struck me as annoyingly socially unaware, I have begun to wonder if it is not a generational thing. When you develop your social skills surrounded by technologies that not only engender, but promote multiple simultaneous conversations, does that practice carry over into face-to-face conversations? In 20 years, might social conventions no longer deem it rude to interrupt one real-life discussion with another?

I certainly hope not! And the odds are that water-cooler conversations will not likely be reduced to snippets of peoples' voices talking over and at one another. However, I suspect that the implicit social rules of face-to-face conversation are undergoing some subtle transformations, which may become less subtle as those who grew up with texting technologies become adults. Ten years ago I earned my Bachelor's degree in Communication Arts. It is truly unfathomable how much may have changed since then, not simply in regard to technological channels, but rather the interpersonal ramifications of those channels.

(Not) Blogging on a Regular Basis

2010-02-19T14:19:00.001-05:00

On numerous occasions, I have intended to sit down and blog. Great ideas for topics have struck me, and I have composed wonderful ways of articulating those ideas in my head. There are mornings where I have woken up and thought, "today is a good day to blog." Or I have been falling asleep on a Sunday night with the firm commitment to blog every day that week. Or at least 4 days. Maybe 3. Okay, at LEAST 2. But if I did one, I would be happy.

Yet, I haven't blogged in over a year.

And I am not alone in this. I have seen plenty of friends set up blogs, being really into them for the first few weeks, or first few days. Then, there is a conspicuous absence of blogging for an extended period of time. This is frequently followed by a post that apologizes for the lack of recent blogging, with a statement of ongoing intention to resume regular posts. This intention may or may not result in the actual resumption of blogging behavior, but if it does, sputters out even faster than the original attempt. Then eventually, there is another blog about not blogging consistently, paired with another attempt to do so. Lather, rinse, (may or may not) repeat.

I will disclaim, however, that I do have at least 3 or 4 friends who blog on a regular basis with astounding eloquence. But most people I know who start a blog, fall into the vicious cycle (or some variation thereof) described above. I am one of them. I wonder what it is about blogging that is like dieting and exercise. How often do we commit to doing those things, with strong intention and motivation, only to let them fall by the wayside after a few weeks? Similarities can be seen in other volitional activities too, such as keeping in touch with friends, quitting bad habits, and so on. Thus, I guess the question, and possible answers, are not specific to blogging. The fact that blogs retain a public history of activity, makes them an easy target to observe lapsed behavior.

I write this not to scorn friends or readers who have not followed through on their blogging intentions. Hell, I am at the top of the guilty list. Upon reflecting through my own lacking blogging habits, I often wonder what it is that has stopped me from following through when I feel motivated to do so, and have ideas that are inspired enough to be legitimately encouraging. I certainly have time in my week to do at least two. I have enough interests to put up material that would not come off as overly repetitive. I typically feel a sense of accomplishment when I do put up a post. So what is it then that keeps me from blogging? Drum roll please....

I have no idea.

Yes, that was incredibly anticlimactic. But then, so have been my intentions to blog. I'd like to think that by writing this, I might work through whatever barrier it is, but I cannot promise I will resume writing on a regular basis, or at least maintain that once I try. I wonder what other lapsed bloggers perceive as their barriers. Is it the lack of anticipated fulfillment after they begin? Is it disappointment with readership or desired comments? Is it that blogging gets demoted to a lower priority when life gets busy? Is it too much effort to actually WRITE out the great ideas that inspired the blog creation in the first place? If anything, I suspect the latter is my barrier, coupled with slight feelings of guilt for spending time on composing self-actualizing streams of consciousness into text.

Whatever the case is, I do like that this outlet is here if I need it. That alone can be quite encouraging. The only way I will resume blogging regularly, and continue to do so, is through intrinsic motivation. I have to write for me, about what I want, and feel rewarded by the activity itself. In this moment it feels good to have written SOMEthing. And in this moment I have plenty of ideas for future posts that have been on my mind for awhile.

Now let's just see if those thoughts find the light of day on my blog tomorrow, or even next week....

Politics in the Classroom: A Few Thoughts and Discussion Points for Educators

2009-01-13T15:22:00.006-05:00

So a friend of mine recently asked her Facebook friends if it would be inappropriate to have her students watch the presidential inauguration in class. I will ruin the suspense and say flat out that I do not think it is inappropriate. But, it did bring a number of arguments and concerns to my mind that I think are worth considering and discussing.

The main issue is how vocal should a professor be in expressing his or her own personal political opinions. On one hand, there is the argument that they are in a position of authority over their students, and there is the potential for coercion. Yet on the other hand, we all have a right to free speech, no matter how public your position is! While I am huge proponent of the latter, I feel that professors should be someone discretionary WHERE and HOW they choose to discuss such beliefs. For example, I am friends with a number of faculty members who are Facebook friends with their students. Around election time, it was NOT uncommon to see status updates that made specific and passionate political proclamations. Not just simply a "I'm voting Obama" or a "McCain sucks" but more like "Did anyone see what a fool Sarah Palin made out of herself in those interviews. If not, here's the link". As a future educator, I would not feel comfortable broadcasting those to the Facebook public IF a student who was currently reliant on me for a grade was going to receive that status update. As someone with a lot of experience being a student myself, I know that if a professor or a superior who had some authority over me, or a role in deciding my academic future was making such statements, especially if I disagreed with them, I would feel influenced. NOT influenced as to who *I* would vote for, but influenced as to voicing my own political opinion publically.

I can take the perspective of the academic, of the scholarly and just educator who will not be biased toward his or her student. And indeed, most every professor/instructor I know would not let a student's political opinion color the way she or he grades the student. But, looking at this from a student perspective, quite reasonably an undergrad may not have that same impression. If his or her instructor is vocal about politics in either the classroom, or ion a very interactively public forum like Facebook, might the student feel that expressing his or her own political beliefs in the classroom or on Facebook cause his or her prof/instructor to be biased against him or her if such beliefs clash? Certainly, there may well be those who would be bias against a student (though such a through is terrifying to me), and that very fear of bias, no matter how imagined or real, may well influence students to be less inclined to express their voices.

So...do I feel professors should be quiet in their political beliefs? Not at all. But when it comes to broadcasting them in a location where they have a relationship with a student, there is a potential for line crossing. It did occur to me, what about if the instructor/professor has a blog, or a bumper sticker in their car, or a sign in their window? I don't have a good answer for that. As I said earlier, I think as much as anyone, professors/instructors/teachers need to have just as much of a sense for freedom of expression. And as educators/instructors/teachers have to recognize that it’s not just content we are passing onto our students, but its often ideals and ways of thinking about and interpreting our world. To do anything that may put a student who is relying on you for guidance in a position where he or she perceives a boundary to expression, is doing a disservice to that student. As educators, I feel that students, that encouraging freedom of thought and expression, comes above all else. So, does that mean to not have a blog, or a bumper sticker, or a window sign? Not necessarily. But I think it calls on us to be mindful of the influence this may exert. We need to be mindful (but not censored) in the classroom, on Facebook, and elsewhere. Perhaps above all else, in order to preserve our own sense of freedom of expression, SHARE with students our encouragement for them to think for themselves, to think as individuals! Tell them forthright that it is OKAY to disagree with you, that political disconnection can be a driving force in the spawning of new and wonderful ideas. Tell them that it won't affect their GRADE!

Maybe one doesn't need to be so explicit in every case, but my point is, politics in the classroom, politics broadcast to those we have authority over may indirectly, even if temporarily, muffle voices that should ordinarily be heard loud clear! It is something to be mindful of. So when my friend asks if she should bring the TV into the classroom on inauguration day, my immediate impulse was no, as it may be a broadcast of her political leanings. Yet on further thought, might this not be a great opportunity for discussion and the exchange of ideas between students? Certainly, I don't think she should make a lovefest for Obama, but I think she may consider commenting that political discussion or ANY discussion of ideas in her classroom is encouraged, and will not personally impact any student's grade.

This is just one set of thoughts on a very complicated and multi-faceted issues. If anyone disagrees or has additional insights and opinions, I would love the hear them!

It was a really good post....but...

2008-11-11T11:25:00.007-05:00

So I spent about 30 minutes writing feverishly about a particular topic today, and was about halfway through when I came to a realization. I couldn't continue with the post because it was coming off as harsh in regard to an issue I am faced with regularly in my position at my academic institution. And while I am a huge fan of the first amendment and taking vocal positions or stances, in this instance, I could not. It sounded disrespectful which was not my intention at all, and I could not think of a fair and diplomatic manner in which to otherwise express my feelings.

Yeah, I know this makes no sense because I have left out all of the specifics. But because I had put so much effort into the post...I feel like I have to post something for all that effort. So here is your daily dose of evasiveness and ambiguity! A post about another post that never was to be!

Rambling of Autumn and Nostalgia

2008-10-31T12:17:00.005-04:00

I am not sure what it is about the fall, but something about this particular time of year makes me super nostalgic. I have always been prone to nostalgia, reflecting with sweet melancholy on things that happened anywhere from 2.5 decades ago, to that which occurred just 2.5 months ago. Yet, there is something about that crisp, sharp smell of autumn, with the piercing bite of frost in the breeze, and the colors of trees set ablaze that speaks to my very core. And as I wax poetic about it all, the scientist in me always asks why.

I partially believe that it has something to do with the academic in me. Fall always signaled the start of a new academic year, and so in a sense, this has been programmed so deeply that it almost becomes hard wired. I have always seen Fall as more of a season of birth and hope and inspiration than that of death and hibernation. In elementary school, There was so much to look forward to, with Halloween and Thanksgiving...which of course were precursors to the holiday season. Everything was new, exciting, and filled one with the type of optimism that only a child could have. In middle and high school, there evolved this sense of something deeper and more substantial that came with the Fall: a recognition of the passage of time, that these days were limited and soon we would be expelled into the "real world". And so those autumns were almost celebrations of the expectations to come! There was always the promise of new friends, new adventures, new loves, new memories, and endless possibilities. Much of that carried through college too, but then began a connection with Fall and nostalgia. I had already come to miss how I had interwoven the season with the time and memories of high school. And so autumn became both inspirational, hopeful, but yet deeply melancholy.

And so autumn continues today to be my favorite season, as it is this soft but deafening clash of hope, beauty, and birth with the mourning for friends, loves, and memories long since past that have simply slipped away through the relentless passage of time. I suppose experience is what forges our relational sensory cues, and as one who continues in, and fully expects to continue on in an academic setting, autumn will always be a catalyst of nostalgia. But the part of me that wants to believe in more than science and rationalism hopes at some fundamental level, these feeling are not elicited by some programmed response to experience...but by the very connection of human to the natural world itself. Because amid the extended shadows caused by shortening daylight, the crackle of hardening leaves underfoot, the slow readjustment to the burden coat wearing, the aroma of yawning trees, and the sight of the crows taking to travel en mass....it is as if the very Earth itself is saying "hey notice me...and reflect upon yourself". Perhaps it is a mixture of both social conditioning and the essence of nature. But whatever the case is, autumn is always the most thrilling, and simultaneously most achingly yearning time to be alive.

Conundrums of Time Travel: Part 1

2008-10-28T12:29:00.004-04:00

While admittedly having essentially no experience in the field of physics, I came to an interesting problem in the idea of time travel. How often in popular media involving time travel (ie - Back to the Future, Star Trek, etc.) do we see the time traveler go backward or forward in time and appear in the same PLACE at a different TIME? Here's the problem with that.

If I am sitting in Syracuse, NY and activate my time traveling device to go back in time a week, I should not end up in the same location in space. A week ago, the Earth was in a different orbit around the sun, and the sun was in a different orbit around our galaxy. And (again, knowing nothing about physics), the galaxy itself was probably on the move through space. Therefore, odds are, I'll end up in the void of space somewhere, and certainly not Syracuse, NY!

As such, any effective travel through time will need to incorporate a commensurate move through space that parallels the movement of our planetary body, or else risk ending up in the void. If presented with this conundrum, I am sure Doc from Back to the Future would talk the physics up and down, and detail how he designed the Delorean to do just this. Just seems like it would have to go faster than 88 MPH to do so......

Who, What, Where, When, Why, and other W's...except of course How: Another Jumbled Sense-Making Ramble

2008-10-28T09:01:00.010-04:00

The week of December 15, 2008...that is my set deadline to have my End of Coursework questions set in stone. That's about 7 weeks away, so I need to get seriously ponderous! I was on the bus today, standing room only, being jostled about and thinking about what my questions should be.

Certainly when writing research questions (such as those for a dissertation) one has to consider the famous W's (who, what, where, when, why) and the odd H (how). In a field such as Information Science, asking who, where, and when questions don't typically make for deep engaging studies, as one has an idea of the population being studied and at what point in time/space the sample is coming from. So that leaves what, why, and "how" questions. I had one professor who insisted that how questions SHOULD make up 90-95% of research questions in our field. Yet, the professor I have worked with who is the most widely published in the field that I know personally, almost always poses "what" questions. I think most would be somewhere in the middle, and the rule of thumb I have always tried to follow is to ask the question that is appropriate to the research question at hand. For my EoC, I suspect these will be "what" questions.

"What" questions largely imply gaining insight into the nature of a phenomenon, while "how" questions largely imply understanding a process, or perhaps a theory. For example, in the research group I am in, we are studying FLOSS (free/libre open source software) development teams, and we are trying to understand the different types of contributions different categories of team members make (which I will refer to as roles). So we often ask questions such as "what are the differences between XXXX and YYYY roles in how they contribute to the development of blah blah blah". To ask a question like "why does, or how do XXXX and YYYY contribute differently to the development of blah blah blah" implies that there is a clear existing difference. Such a question would be great as a follow up, should a difference be evidenced previously. However, if we want to study a FLOSS process such as software development, we might want to ask "how does XXXX contribute to the development of blah blah blah, and how does YYYY contribute to the development of blah blah blah". This is descriptive of process, or useful in theory building (which is a manner of describing a phenomenon). To take this "how" question and turn it into a "what" (such as "what differences do XXXX and YYYY contribute", which as worded would be a follow up) considers the fundamentals and descriptions thereof, but not necessarily process.

The lines are somewhat blurry, and I have perhaps not done the best job of articulating the inherent assumptions of the various W's and the odd H. My bumpy bus ride, or lack of sleep may be to blame. What I have concluded though is that for EoC I will probably be asking "what" questions. End of Coursework is about demonstrating mastery of the field (what most programs call comprehensive or qualitative exams). One has to show balance of both depth (deep knowledge of a very narrow tiny subject matter) and bredth (knowledge of related subjects and awareness of how they all tie together). So its all about "what", right?

I was firmly decided on "what" questions until I began articulating and reasoning this out. "What" may provide many of the foundational necessities to master a field. Yet, I may want to ask "how" questions as well, as to understand the process of evolution of the subject matter I am considering. "Why" questions may be beneficial as well because they can provide roots of relevence, or additional depth to compliment "what" questions. And I probably shouldn't ignore "when" and "where", because I need to identify my narrow slice of academia in the spot of time/space it belongs.

Yah, so...back to square one!

But seriously, I suspect I will be building the buttress of my EoC on "what"s, siding it with "how", and reinforcing it with "why". Seven weeks to go...

Let's see how many times my mind changes between now and then...

Facebook "Friends" (one of my more rambling blogs)

2008-10-27T13:28:00.004-04:00

I recently coauthored a short conference paper (just submitted...keeping my fingers crossed) on what it means to be a "friend" on Facebook and the types of communications that are shared amongst "friends". Its funny that someone who is a friend of a friend in real life that I have only met once is provided with the same insight into my life as a good friend of 15 years! Granted, you can segment friends into groups of permissions and privileges, but I suspect that few people really take the time to closely filter their Facebook friends as such. Or maybe I am just lazy.

I was speaking with a real life friend today who made the "relationship" aspect of her profile hidden because she was going through some ups and downs with her partner...and kept receiving comments when her status changed from "in a relationship" to "its complicated" to back to "in a relationship". I also have a Facebook friend who I rarely see in real life (who is actually an adjunct instructor) who publishes some pretty biting political status updates about the current election. I noticed about 20 updates to her status she masde during one of the televised debates, essentially using the status update feature to communicate, in real time, her commentary! It was absolutely fascinating. While politics can be a touchy subject in face-to-face environments, here was her very liberal viewpoints broadcast under the safe boundaries of Facebook for all to read! I don't know her well enough to say that she wouldn't be so vocal in front of all of these friends, but I suspect the added layer of distance in the virtual world facilitated her comfort in broadcasting her perspectives.

Friendship on Facebook means letting these contacts in on as much or as little as you'd like, with occasional unintentional consequences. For example, this past week I had a number of academic responsibilites, such as working on this Facebook paper, and preparing for my annual PhD evaluation. Yet, because some of the faculty members on my evaluation committee are my Facebook friends, I deleted some of the new stories about myself that showed I was playing games on Facebook because I found myself fearing they might see that and judge me in real life because of it!! My co-author on my Facebook conference paper even made a few jestful comments because I told her I was too busy one evening to work on another draft, but yet she saw I had taken a survey on Facebook!

A participant on Facebook foresakes a few degrees of privacy in order to interact with those that have been deemed as "friends". I know there are instances when I want to say something in my status update, or a comment I want to make on someone's photo, and I reel back because some "friends" I do not want to see such details. As I said above, permissions can be provided...but by and large, that is an onerous task. The design of the site seems to encourage an rank of equality amongst most, if not all friends. So, he or she who is an aquaintence or a friend of a friend of a friend of a relative, and he or she who I have intimately known for as long as I can remember, all are provided with the same insight into the details of my life I choose to share.

Perhaps I need to simply spend less time ON Facebook...

Annual Evaluation Conclusion: I need to blog more

2008-10-24T16:27:00.004-04:00

I need to blog more. I don't expect many readers, I don't expect comments or any type of recognition for it. I simply need to blog more because I need to write more, and blogging is an excellent way to exercise the brain, my thoughts, my academic ideas, and word craft practice. I had my annual PhD student evaluation today, and while I passed, while I am in satisfactory academic standing, there were plenty of footnotes. I need to focus, discipline myself, and figure out what the fuck I am doing. This has to be done by March in order to continue in the program. Its what we call End of Coursework...what most other programs call qualitative exams or comprehensive exams. For us in the iSchool, its a statement of competency and prospectus for a dissertation.

Its all about perception, but perception is based on the presentation you make to others, and I have made a presentation to others that is not entirely coherent, but not entirely jumbled. Hence the footnotes, which were all valid. Getting a PhD (at least in an area that is arguably social science) means defining oneself in such a way that is so precisely detailed and specific. You need to define your interest (and I say interest because there is apparently not room for multiple interests) with such painstaking narrow specificity that you could write a whole book that is totally unique from anything that is in the library of congress. Yes, that's called a dissertation! And its what separates the scholars from the lifelong learners.

So I need to blog more, because I am trying to sift out this academic narrow high-definition identity. No blogging does not force this process, but it helps to encourage and articulate it. I constantly find myself distracted by all of the interesting things going on around me. I guess its a form of ADD...something I struggle with, even as I try to narrow myself down and focus. What drives one (ideally) to get a PhD is thirst for knowledge, a love of learning and thinking and figuring out the world around them. I guess one of my issues is that I love learning about a lot of different things, and playing around with ideas that are new to me. But I am in the position now where my inquiry has to burrow deep into the core of all cores, rather than fulfill a few questions and move on to the next interesting hole.

As I said before, my research interests are not entirely coherent, but not entirely fuzzy. I essentially have this chaotic group of interests with weak links draw between them, and I need to shake off the protons and neutrons that don't play well, and strengthen the bonds between those that do. This means discipline, lots and lots of reading, lots and lots of discussions, and lots and lots of writing. And thus, I need to blog more. This is the public manifestation of what I need to stuff into my pockets by the middle/end of March. I know that I *can* succeed, but I also know that I need to somehow keep focused, keep confident, and have the occasional teaspoon of support heaped in from some true and trusted friends to make it to the finish line before the race is over. And once passed... then I can begin a dissertation proposal. A whole new, exciting, and narrowly focused race.

MySpace vs. Facebook: Round 1

2008-09-30T15:03:00.008-04:00

I was listening to a They Might Be Giants podcast the other day, and at the end they had an advertisement for their Facebook page, then added in that they still have an antique MySpace page up. It would seem to me that in the battle of Social Networking sites, Facebook is clearly emerging as the winner (and no, not because TMBG has thrown their support behind it). I remember 2 or 3 years ago when MySpace was still enjoying the height of its popularity, and endless media buzz. Every TV show, movie, band, and other entertainment giant had to have a MySpace page in addition to their own proprietary webpage. Even individual characters in movies sometimes had their "own" MySpace page. I have noticed this trend to be gradually declining, but I think Myspace will continue to be a social networking/entertainment monolith for some time to come. They may have to settle for being 2nd to Facebook though.

MySpace was not unique at the time...there were other social networking sites that pre-dated it...most memorably Friendster. But MySpace really came into the limelight around 2004/2005 or so (if my memory serves correctly). In my opinion, it wasn't just the ability to share pictures, comments, and blogs with friends that was so engaging, it was also the customizablity. The backgrounds people created for their MySpace pages reminded me of the early days of the web: sites with appallingly bad design and poor asthetic taste. With a few custom tools, MySpacers were putting together pages with outlandish graphics, unreadable fonts, and enough glittery animated GIFs to make even a Hollywood starlet cringe. Yet, the ability to do this, even if you shouldn't, is attractive because it was one of the first, if not the first, widely popularized Web 2.0 site. A site where the user is no longer a passive observer reviewing and absorbing content, but can create, customize, add to, modify, and influence content. Add to that the ability to interact with friends old and new, and you had yourself a socio-technological phenomenon unparalleled arguably since the deregulation of the internet and the mass adaptation of email.

I am saving my arguement of why Facebook is overtaking MySpace as a popular social networking site for another day. But I'll give you a hint. I think it all comes down to design. MySpace pages have become ugly, clumsy, and harsh on the eyes. With the ability to customize every last graphic and piece of text, many users have done just that, with jarring results. Now I am exaggerating a bit...I have plenty of friends who have not "pimped" out their MySpace pages. But I have plenty more, if not twice as more who have. I get it, I understand that much of this is about self representation. If you like sunflowers, you can make a giant sunflower your background. You can have sunflower icons scattered across your page. You can have curvy, flowery text all over the place. It shows something about you. But just like the early days of the web, just because you can do something with a design, doesn't mean you should.

Remember those old, ugly, blocky animated GIFs, menus that changed color when you rolled over them, tracker counters, the yellow construction man signs, textured or patterned backgrounds, and having to use the "~" sign in half of the web addressed you typed in?! BAD DESIGN! Even at the time it was bad design, but it was the norm, its what we were used to in how web pages were presented. We were all just learning how to design pages...and since this was a new and interactive medium, MORE seemed better in most every way. More animated GIFs, more links, more counters, more more more more more ways to interact! That seems to be the mentality that overtook MySpace users. By and large, as the first hugely popular website to let people really customize and control their content...these first time designers sought out more more more. And it all seems good to these users I think....until they see the alternative of more more more...or at least a better way to present it. Webpages feel cleaner now than they did in those earlier days of the web, and are still just as functional. Designers have done "more" with "less". And it is that same idea of more with less that I believe is propelling Facebook ahead of MySpace. But as I said...more on that to come.

I believe MySpace will continue to be a social networking giant for some time to come, even if it ends up taking a backseat to Facebook or another up and coming site we've yet to notice in our peripherial vision. I cannot blame anyone for pimping out their pages with bad design...hell, I look back at some of the pages I did in the late 90s...and they were worse than some of the glitteriest MySpace pages. I think as a whole, these users who have become designers are evoloving, and growing as web contributors. They NEED to go through this cycle of bad and clumsy design. They need to learn from it. They need to see alternatives. They need to stumble over their friends' pages to realize why a giant glittery sunflower is a bad background choice against yellow text. And as the community of Web 2.0 communities grows, evolves, and learn, the newbies who join will have the advantage of being enculturated into better design, and hopefully not repeat the accidents of the past. And when Web 3.0 comes out (whatever the hell that is going to be), we'll probably make horrible design choices there as well, and learn and grow from it.

Virtual Reality: The 1992 Edition

2008-09-29T13:39:00.007-04:00

So at the encouragement (er...insistence) of one of my professors, I began reading a book called "Snow Crash"by Neal Stephenson. It was strongly recommended to me because of my interests of self-representation in visual, virtual environments. It is a work of fiction, written in (I believe) 1992, taking place in a future LA. How far into the future is not directly specified (yet), but I get the impression it is supposed to be 20 to 30 years. Stephenson imagines a world where pizza delivery is a major professional career, and the government of the United States has failed, giving way to corporate, private, and industry purchase of communities and highways, allowing for city-states with their own laws. In fact, right above the home-base of the pizza joint where our protagonist, (aptly named Hiro Protagonist [or The Delivernator when he was delivering pies]) the mob has placed a billboard promoting the love of their family. Only three chapters in, Stephenson has painted a world of semi-anarchy where Hiro has to deliver his pizzas in 30 minutes or else face possible death from a mob boss (no, I am not kidding). He drives his beastly car with oversized tires, trying to avoid obstacles such as skateboarders who might hitch rides with giant magnets.

Following a major delivery mishap, Hiro is out of the pizza business, and at home...if you can call it home. He lives in a 20 X 30 storage unit with his roomate (who has yet to be developed yet). Hiro owns few possestions, but one of these is a computer, a small slim black box with a camera built into the case, and a strand of fiber optic cables running to the wall. Hiro wears goggles, goggles that act as a monitor for his computer. Through this he is able to access and participate in the Metaverse. Yes, you guessed it, a virtual reality. Headphones built into the goggles allow Hiro to hear, while 3d technology in the goggles allow for him to see this virtual world as clearly as one might see "reality". The Metaverse is about 10 years old at this time, and Hiro was one of the first inhabitants.

By the time I put my bookmark in its place at 3:30am and decided to turn to bed, I was intrigued. The first two chapters where Hiro is the Delivernator, were painting an obvious backdrop for the "real" world in which he inhabits. It is an extrapolation and parody of 1992, with creeping fears of technological and industrial domination. The author runs us quickly through this world, speaking in a narrative that arrogantly assumes we already know something about this world...perhaps because we do. Yet, when introducing the virtual reality that is the metaverse, Stephenson painstakingly details the technology to such an extent that a reader today almost feels insulted.

I almost feel guilty that I am excited to see where this book goes. So far Hiro has left his delivery job, and has entered the Metaverse to escape the "shit" (yes, Stephenson's word...he swears a LOT in this book) that is his life, for at least a little while. Hiro's new job is less than fulfilling, and we get the impression his true fulfillment comes from this alternate virtual existence. It all feels over the top, but is unavoidably engaging. Stephenson's narrative is vulgar, violent, extreme, and filled with vividly disturbing metaphors. Yet by chapter 3, we see perhaps he has a unique insight into a world of technology, networking, and interconnectedness that blurs the lines between reality and unreality. I am intrigued because within a few pages he has set up a world which sounds scarily like Second Life on crack, where participants can purchase land and build their own electronic homestead. Sure, this was not something unforeseeable in 1992...but it was not exactly obvious! How deep the Metaverse is, and what adventures Hiro faces within and outside of it I am anxious to read about.

Blogging for me, Blogging for you

2008-09-27T17:06:00.002-04:00

Its been months since I posted anything, and hell, my posts only total two on here for having had this thing for over a year. I originally got this blog to keep me writing on a regular basis. This was obviously a failure, but I am going to try to start it up again. I am nearing my End of Coursework milestone in my program, and need to be writing and thinking a LOT more than I am...so...let's give this another shot!!!

Starting Monday....

Hopefully...

Perception

2008-05-17T17:16:00.002-04:00

Random rant about whats on my mind....

For many years I have been apt to say "its all relative" or "its all in how you perceive it". This has been one of my day-to-day mottos.

As I become more entrenched in academia, I am feeling that this is more than a wry motto. Its really how I see the world, approach problems, and attack my research. At heart I have come to believe that I am a constructivist. While I do believe that there is an objective reality out there in the universe, I do not think that humans will ever be able to grasp it. We make our own realities from the perspective of our own thoughts, life history, genetics, and our unreliable human senses. EVERYTHING is in how we perceive the world. As a species, we make sense of the world around us thought our senses, senses that we all generally share with varying degrees of clarity. And the world we perceive through these sense is interpreted by our personal histories and experiences. Reality is what we construct of it. For example, I am partially colorblind. When tested for the condition I am presented with a number of colored dots, within which there are supposed to be numbers that one can make out. I usually cannot see anything but similar colored dots. My reality is that of just these benign dots, while others see the numbers as their "reality". This is a limitation of my vision, however, I know from experience and my own history that I am not seeing what others do, that reality is distorted in this sense for me. Yet to take this even one more ridiculous step further, the only reason these numbers have meaning to those who can see them is their own personal histories. They have learned the quantity of which the number "7" represents. They perceive two lines joining at a particular angle to form a "7", and then attach meaning to it. Turn it upside down, and it is an "L", an entirely different alphanumeric symbol with an entirely different meaning.

How can any of us trust "reality" when its all in how we perceive it. Humans cannot hear as well as cats. We cannot smell as well as dogs. Our senses are limited, and hell, even the senses of other species of animals is limited as well, but we can see by comparison some of our more obvious limitations. Our very genetics, our human-make up places constraints on what we can observe and even the conclusions we can therefore draw. As such, reality, our reality, is at best our perception of it. We can reach common, agreed upon understandings of a reality, based on our common sensory organs and common cognitive processes. But the beauty of humanity is that we are imperfect. We have different life histories. We have had different experiences. We have different opinions and thoughts and interpretations of that which make up our being. Social interaction would be boring (but perhaps easier) and unrewarding if we didn't gain vicarious rewards from others which we do not ourselves possess. So yes, I stand by my stance that its all about perception. Its all relative.

And I stand by that for now, at least until I perceive otherwise...

Introduction to My Brain

2007-12-05T12:24:00.001-05:00

I am currently finishing up the fall semester of my 2nd year at the iSchool at SU. For the first time in the year and a half that I have been here, I finally feel a sense of real comfort in what I am doing here. After struggling with it for months, I am sensing the beginnings of coherence in between my thoughts, my interests, and what is feasible for possible dissertation subjects.

In brief, I have always been fascinated with how we live our lives online and why. What motivates people to join a virtual community? How to we present ourselves online? How do we communicate in these forums, and are they fundamentally different from "real life", or face-to-face settings? What meaning to people derrive from their relationships online? While perhaps these are questions with manageable scopes on the surface, the more I dug into these questions, the more questions that arose. More situational contexts emerged to indicate that they were not narrow enough. And, essentially, these questions, while united under an umbrella, it is an overly wide and flimsy umbrella.

A much tighter focus is where I need to be as an independent scholar, and where I believe the path is becoming less obscured. I began considering my questions from an individual level, and the need to understand behavior as behavior is essentially the programming that makes the larger system of society function. Yet, the programming can really only be done at this individual level. My previous questions, while benign-sounding enough, really envelopped many different behaviors, making them somewhat problematic from the perspective of a PhD student who needs to focus down and define a "thing" that can be studied, and done so through scientifically-sound research.

The bahvior I am finding most interesting right now is Representation of Self. This is a subject that has previously received attention in the field of Infomation Science, but largely through the lens of identity. I see self-representation as a distinct element of identity, a specific behavior. This is something I am going to be thinking through, struggling with, and defining as I continually redefine it. While I have been actively doing this for about a month, I will likely be writing about this is more detail in future posts. Here, today, I am simply feeling this as the appropriate outlet for expressing joy at the process of narrowing down. Rather than do it out of pure necessity, I am glad to be able to do so out of true interest!